Since 18
by ETLS
Summary: A mistake makes everything worth it.
1. How it all started

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I asked confused to Principal Figgins.  
"Ms. Lopez, I'm sorry to inform you that thanks to your poor attendance to classes and your low grades you don't have enough credits to graduate" Principal Figgins said.  
"What?! But this is my senior year!" I said alarmed.  
"I know that, Ms. Lopez, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'll be having a talk with your parents, meanwhile you could go talk to your teachers and arrange your schedule for next year" He said while shooing me out of his office.

I stood on the hall outside the Principal's office with a look of utter shock on my face. How could this be happening to me? I'm gonna be staying here another year. What the actual fuck?! I mean, yeah I've been reckless this past year and maybe I let Puckerman talk me into a lot of parties and stuff but I never thought something like this would happen. Hold on, if I'm staying here Puckerman is staying too for sure.  
I grabbed my phone out of my backpack and texted him.

**Where u at?**

A few minutes later he answered me.

**Our spot**

As soon as I saw his response I ran to the football field. Our spot is this little space behind the bleachers with a comfy couch on it. I spend a lot of time there this past year.  
When I reached it I saw Puck sitting on the old couch with a very serious look on his face.

"Hey" I said softly.  
He looked up at me and gave me a small smile.  
"Sup? How did it go with Figgins?" He asked me.  
I slumpled on the couch next to him and let out a long sigh.  
"Not good" I said sadly.  
"Yeah? It wasn't good for me either"  
We looked at one another. With that look on his face I knew that we both had the same destiny for next year. We stayed in silence for a long time, until he said  
"How are supposed to see all of our friends graduate?"  
"I don't know… This sucks!" I said angrily.  
"Tell me about it"  
Another long silence.  
"San?" He said.  
"Yeah?"  
"There is a silver lining, you know?" He said with a small smile.  
"And what is it?" I asked a little bitterly.  
"We're going through this _together"_ He said with a smile, "At least I have another year with my best friend"  
I looked at him and smiled.  
"You're right, at least we're together in this mess" I told him.  
We just looked at each other smiling until we burst out laughing. We laughed for at least 15 minutes non stop. When the laugh started to die we both sighed and looked at each other again.  
"My mom is gonna kill me when I get home" He told me.  
"Oh man, I can't even imagine what my folks are going to tell me" I said shaking my head.  
"Have you checked out your schedule for next year?"  
"Nah, after Figgings told me the great news I came here right away. Have you?" I asked him.  
He shook his head.

"We should probably go check that out now" He said while standing up from the couch. He grabbed his backpack, looked at me, and held out his hand to help me get off the couch.  
"Yeah, let's go" I said with a sigh.

* * *

"Well, it looks like you two will have pretty much the same schedule next year" Ms. Pillsbury told us, "Noah, you will be taking Calculus, Physics, French, and History"  
Puck let out a groan.  
"And Santana, you will be taking Calculus, French, and History. Those are all of the credits you both need to finish so you can graduate" said Ms. Pillsbury while looking at us with those big eyes of her and her nervous smile.  
"We will be taking the classes together, right?" Puck asked Ms. Pillsbury.  
"That's right, except for Physics, since Santana actually passed that subject"  
I scoffed at that comment.  
"You do know that we failed thanks to our lousy attendance, right?" I asked her, "We are not stupid or something" I said bitterly.  
"I know, Santana. I never said either of you were" She said politely.  
"Well, can we have our schedules now?" Puck asked her.  
"Yes, of course! Let me print it for you, be right back" And with that she left the office.  
I glanced a look at Puck. He was staring out the window with his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"It's not gonna be that bad" I told him.  
Without even looking at me he said, "I hope you're right, cause so far it sounds fucking awful"  
We waited in silence until Ms. Pillsbury came back. Once she gave us our schedules we both head out to the parking lot.  
"How many days a week you have to come?" Puck asked me.  
"Three" I said happily, "And you?"  
"Four" he said bitterly.  
"Sorry you have to took physics again"  
"It's whatever, I'll just have to intimidate some idiot to give me all the answers"  
I let out a sigh. If Puck was gonna be having that attitude again all hope of graduating will be lost.  
We arrived at my car. Puck just stood there a little awkwardly while holding the strap of his backpack with one hand.  
"I'll see you later then" He told me.  
I gave him a smile and a short nod.  
"See ya later, Puckster"  
He laughed a little and waved me goodbye while making his way to his truck. Well, at least I made him smile a little.  
I got in my car and as fast as I could, I drove home.

* * *

The silence surrounding us felt as if I couldn't breathe. My mom was looking at me as if I was a complete stranger and my dad just had this look of utter disappointment on his face.  
"Say something" I told them.  
My dad raised his eyebrows and looked at my mom.  
"What exactly is it you want us to say, Santana? Huh?" My dad said.  
I lowered my head and looked at the tabled.  
"Anything" I said in a whisper.  
"What happened to you, Santana?" My mom asked me.  
I just shrugged my shoulders without looking up.  
"That's you answer?" My dad said.  
I shrugged my shoulders again.  
"I can not believe you, Santana. This is not the way we raised you, and could you please look at me when I'm talking to you!"  
I looked up to see my dad. His eyes were soft but the expression on his face wasn't. He looked hurt more than anything.  
"I hope you realize how this ruins a lot of opportunities for you college wise" He said, "And more than anything, I hope you're happy with this. All the hard work your mother and I have made so you could have everything you ever wanted is in the trash now. You threw all of that away when you decided that school wasn't _cool_ enough so you decided to do God-knows-what with that good for nothing best friend of yours"  
"This isn't Puck's fault!" I told them.  
"So you say…" My mom said bitterly.  
"I'm old enough to make my own decisions, Mom. Puck had nothing to do with this" I was starting to get a little bit angry.  
"We can so clearly see that, Santana. Such good choices" My dad said.  
I lowered my head once more.  
"Well, since you won't be graduating this year and school is practically over now, I guess it's time for you to find a job for the summer" My dad told me.  
I looked up so fast that I have no idea how I didn't break my neck.  
"What?! A job? What for? This is the most important summer ever! All of my friends will be leaving in a few weeks! Isn't it bad enough that I'm gonna be the only one staying in this good for nothing town while I see my best friends go to New York, or Yale like Quinn?! I'm gonna be remembered like the Lima loser who couldn't even graduate high school!"  
I was sobbing. I feel like such a piece of trash. Like a real loser.  
"You will graduate, Santana" My mom told me while reaching out to hold my hand.  
"But you need to learn a little bit of responsibility, mija, so you need to get a job. There will be no more allowance. If you want money, you need to work for it." My dad told me.  
I looked at him. I was getting angrier and angrier by the second.  
"Thanks for the support, Dad" I said sarcastically while standing up from the table. I gave them one last look and then ran upstairs to my bedroom.

* * *

I fell asleep at some point while crying. When I woke up I saw that I had 4 missed calls from Quinn and a bunch of text messages from different friends. I tossed my phone. I couldn't face talking to them right now. It all felt like too much.  
I grabbed my laptop and went to the WMHS online site. I never really paid attention to the younger generations except on Cheerios practice and that's cause those girls were the ones making sure I never fell on my ass on the routines. I clicked on _yearbook_ and started wandering through the pics. Ugh, they all seemed awful, with those big smiles and cheesy and stupid quotes. Thank goodness Puck was going to be with me. I couldn't finish seeing the pictures. I closed my laptop and laid on my bed. I was staring at the ceiling when I hear a knock on my door. My mom opened it soon after.  
"Dinner is ready"  
Without looking at her I said, "I'm not hungry. Thanks"  
My mom let out a sigh and walked to my bed. She sat on the corner.  
"Santana, you need to eat, sweety" She said.  
"I'm really not hungry, mom. I just wanna be alone, please" A small tear escaped and I could feel it making its way through my cheek.  
"Okay. In case you feel hungry later I'll leave a plate on the microwave" She said while patting me on the knee. When I heard the door close shut more tears came running down my face.  
The question my mom had made earlier was running in circles in my head. What happened to me? I wasn't the girl I am right now. I used to be a really good student, I was even in academical clubs! Why is life so confusing? Why did I have to feel this way? It's almost like I don't know who I am anymore.  
This is exactly why I started acting that way. I hate feeling this way. I just hate _feeling._ I need to stop thinking about this mess.  
I grabbed my phone. I ignored all the texts and called Puck. After a few rings he answered.

"What's cooking, good looking?" Puck said as his hello.  
I laughed a little.  
"Good mood, Puckerman?"  
"Not exactly, but I try" He said.  
"Yeah, same here… What ya doin'?" I asked him.  
"Not much, scrolling through facebook. How did it go with your folks? Was it bad?"  
"They cut my allowance; I need to get a summer job" I said annoyingly, "What about you? What did your mom said?"  
"She is disappointed in me, but more than anything, she is surprised you got in this mess too. She just couldn't believe it" I could hear the smile in his voice.  
"Well, tell her that makes two of us cause I can't believe I'm in this mess either"  
Puck laughed.  
"Anyway, feel like doing something tonight?" I asked him.  
"Aren't you grounded?" He asked surprised.  
"They never mentioned something about being grounded, although I'm pretty sure I am, but you know it's not that hard for me to climb out of my window"  
"I don't think It's a good idea, San… What if they found out?" Puck sounded worried.  
"They have never found out, Puckerman. Come on! I feel like I'm going insane being here stuck in my room. Pretty please?"  
"Fine, but! Nothing too crazy tonight. I need to get up early tomorrow" He said.  
"Why?"  
"Pool business"  
"Oh, right… Well, text me when you're outside" And with that I hung up.

I opened the door to my bedroom and went to the bathroom making as much noise as possible. I brushed my teeth's, my hair and changed to my pj's. When I left the bathroom my dad gave me a weird look.  
"I'm tired" I said.  
He nod and wished me good night. I then went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. My mom was there and she wished me good night too. I ran up the stairs, closed the door to my bedroom and changed again. A few minutes later Puck texted me saying he was outside. I climbed down my window like I have done so many times this past year and in a flash I was inside Puck's car and we were driving without destination.

* * *

The car came to a stop. I looked out the window and saw that we were in the park. That's weird…  
"Puck, why are we in the park?" I turned around to ask him.  
"It's as good place as any" He said with a shrug.  
He opened the door and got out of the car. From behind his seat he grabbed his jacket and a plastic bag.  
"Are you coming or what?" He asked me while closing the door.  
I got out of the car and started following him until we reached the swings. He sat down on one and I sat next to him. He left the plastic bag on the floor in front of him and then pulled out a beer. He opened it and passed it to me then took one out for himself.  
"Cheers" He said and we clinked our beers together.  
"Cheers"  
We both took a long sip from our beers. None of us spoke for a while, the sound of the trees moving thanks to the wind and the crickets surrounded us completely. Puck finished his beer and put it back on the plastic bag while taking a new one out.  
"So" he started, "a summer job?" He asked me.  
I just nodded.  
"Any ideas?"  
"Not really… I'm gonna look at the mall, see if any store needs help" I told him.  
"Sounds good"

We stayed quiet again. I finished my beer and he took it from just to give me a new one. We both drank the first three beers in silence. It may sound weird but it wasn't. That's the great part of Puck being my best friend. There is rarely any awkwardness between us.

"What's going on with us, San?" Puck asked out of nowhere.  
"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked surprised.  
"I mean… When did we became these type of people? I know school has never been my forte but **not** graduating?! And you, well, you used to be such a nerd" he said laughing a little, "and look at us. Now neither one of us is going to graduate and we are at the park, drinking beer, and… what happened, San?" He sounded so sad and conflicted. Puck looked at me as if I had all the answers while I'm sure my faced showed just the same confusion he was feeling. He let out a long sigh and then took a long sip of his beer.  
"Life got messy, I guess" I told him after a little while.  
"Yeah, I guess…"  
I started swinging a little bit. Puck stood up and dropped his beer. He stood behind me and started pushing me on the swing. Each push was getting stronger and stronger until I felt as if I was about to make a 360 on the swing. I was screaming for him to stop and he was laughing so hard that I started laughing too. He stopped after a while and sat back down on his swing and then he challenged me to see who could jump more far away from the swings. We were laughing so much that my stomach started to ache and on the count of three we both jumped. He won but only because we kind of crashed mid-air and I pushed him. Laying there on the grass, both of us crying with laughter, it all felt as if nothing was wrong and when I looked at him I could see that he was thinking the same. We smiled at each other and that's when I knew that I could do this, because I had my best friend with me.

* * *

"Santana, come on! You need to wake up, mija" My mom said while opening the drapes in my room and letting all the sun shine in my room. I groaned.  
"Santana, don't make me go over there"  
"I'm up" I said groggily.  
"Wash your face and come down, breakfast is ready" And with that, my mom left my room.

I came back home around 3 in the morning. The park with Puck turned out to be a really good idea. After the swing challenge we started talking about our summer plans, my job possibilities, and who did we knew that was one year younger than us. It turns out, not that many people.  
And now is 8 am and all I wanna do is go back to sleep.

"SANTANA! I DON'T HEAR THE WATER RUNNING" My mom yelled from downstairs. I groaned again. I got up and went to the bathroom. After that I went downstairs for breakfast.

"Pancakes?" I asked surprised, "What are we celebrating?"  
"Celebrating?! As if there was something to celebrate in this house" My mom said.  
I lowered my head. What a great way to start my day. My mom let out a sigh.  
"We are not celebrating, Santana. I just wanted to do something to make you feel a little bit better" My mom rounded the table and gave me a small hug.  
"Oh, well, thanks Mom" I returned the hug and gave her a smile.  
"Now eat, cause I need to go to your school to do some paperwork and you need to start looking for that job"  
"Mom, do I really need to find a job?" I asked with a pout.  
"Yes, and don't give me that look, I really think it will do you good, hija" She told me.  
I gave a simple nod and started eating my pancakes. My mom was at the sink finishing doing the dishes. She turned around and looked at me. I could feel her eyes on me.  
"Mom, why are you staring?" I asked her.  
"There's something I need to discuss with you" She said with a serious tone. I swallowed my piece of pancake and stared at her. She sat in front of me at the table and crossed her hands.  
"I need to ask you two questions, and I want you to be honest with me, Santana, please"  
I just nodded.  
"Is there something going on between you and Noah?" She eyed me curiously.  
I couldn't help but laugh a little.  
"No, mom, I've told you before. Puck is my best friend since, like, forever. You know that" I said with a smile. My mom started nodding while still eyeing me with curiosity.  
"I believe you. Santana, what do you think about seeing a Psychologist?" She asked me.  
Now **that** took me by surprise.  
"What? Why?" I asked. My voice a little high.  
"Your father and I think it could be a good idea. We are worried about you, Santana. You don't seem like yourself lately and this whole thing with your grades and school, this isn't you, sweetie. Maybe if you talk to someone, it could help you to get back on the right track" My mom said as if there was nothing wrong with that.  
"Mom, I'm not crazy" I said shaking my head.  
"Honey, going to a Psychologist doesn't mean that you're crazy. We think it could really help you"  
I stared at my plate. A psychologist? Really? I don't think that's necessary but knowing my parents the way I do they already made their mind. My mom is just "asking" me if I want to but it's more of a heads up on what's coming next. I looked at her and shrug.  
"If you guys think is a good idea…" I said.  
My mom gave a nod and stood up.  
"Finish your breakfast and get ready. Do you know where you want to look for a job?"  
"The mall…"  
"Be ready in 20" My mom said and left the kitchen.

Great, now I have to worry about a fucking psychologist. As if therapy was the answer to everything. As if **I **needed therapy. What a fucking joke.

* * *

**A/U: **Let me know what you guys think. English is not my first language, any mistakes are mine.


	2. Quinn knows the truth

"Hello?"  
"Santana?! Why on Earth did it took you that long to finally answer my calls?!" Quinn screamed on the other line.  
"Calm your titties, Fabray! I've been busy"  
"We need to talk. You need to tell me everything! Let's have dinner, Breadstix, I'll pick you up in one hour, deal?" Quinn asked eagerly.  
"Can I text you with my answer? I need to ask my mom…" I said pathetically.  
"Ok, but if she says no then I'm coming over to your house" Quinn said.  
"Fine. Let me go ask"  
The line went dead and I took a big breath. What if my mom said no? Does that mean that I am actually grounded and won't be able to see my friends the entire summer?  
I walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen. My mom was making the last touches for dinner and my dad was helping her. They didn't really noticed my presence until a cleared my throat.  
"What's up, honey? Are you hungry? Cause dinner will be ready in 20 minutes or so" My mom said.  
I shifted nervously in my spot and looked at them.  
"Something on your mind, Santana?" My dad asked me.  
"Uhm, yeah, I was actually wondering if I could have dinner with Quinn tonight" I said.  
My parents exchanged a look.  
"But, you know, if I'm grounded Quinn said she could come over so that we could talk and I mean, she doesn't have to if you guys don't want to but I think that would be really mean because she did graduate and she is going to Yale in just a few weeks and she is my best friend and I really want to see her because I haven't really spoke to her since I found out about school and I got a job, Dad, so I'm doing what you asked of me and Quinn really wants to go to-"  
"SANTANA!" My dad said.  
I jumped a little.  
"Santana, we said it's okay. You can have dinner with Quinn, just please don't be late" My dad told me with a smile.  
"Really? I can?" I asked surprised, "Does that mean that I'm not grounded?"  
"I wouldn't go that far, but you are showing progress. You got a job already, which I think it's amazing and you agreed on therapy. We are not saying you can go to parties every night, but you can have dinner with Quinn" My dad said.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I said happily while giving each one a small hug. After that I ram up the stairs and texted Quinn that I was free that night.

Xxxxx

"Really?! A job and therapy?! Isn't it enough punishment that you didn't graduate?!" Quinn asked surprised.  
"I know, right? I mean, you're leaving in a few weeks and I'm going to be stocked here for another year. That is the worst punishment ever" I said while eating a breadstick.  
"At least Puck is gonna be with you. Good thing you guys failed the same subjects" Quinn said sympathetically.  
"Except physics, I didn't failed that" I corrected her.  
Quinn rolled her eyes.  
"So, found a job yet?" She asked.  
"Actually yes. I'm gonna be a barista at the Lima Beans Café"  
"Really?!"  
"It's the best job I could find. The pay is not thaaaat bad, plus tips, the schedule is good, and you know how I love my coffee so at least I'll get free coffee." I said with a shrug.  
"When do you start?"  
"Next week. I'm replacing this guy and he still has a week left so.."  
"I'm glad you found a job that fast" Quinn said smiling.  
"Yeah, me too. My dad is thrilled about it"

Quinn and I kept talking about my new job, the fact that I'm going to therapy, which we both think is weird and unnecessary and then I asked her about Yale and the dorms. The waitress came and took our order. We kept talking about nothing and everything until our food arrived.

"So" Quinn said between bites of her chicken parmesan, "can I ask you something?"  
I raised an eyebrow and looked at her, then nodded.  
Quinn swallowed and cleared her throat.  
"This last year you went gaga and I thought it was, I don't know, the senior fever or something. Trying to enjoy to the top our last year and McKinley but I never thought it would get this bad, you know?" Quinn was talking so softly and she looked kind of confused.  
"What I'm trying to say is that I'm your best friend, San and you never talked to me about whatever the hell was going on with you. You were always with Puck and even in Cheerios practice you seemed different. What happened?"  
I grabbed a fork full of past and shoved it to my face. I needed some time to digest that question. Quinn was looking at me as if she could read my mind. It's so unnerving when she does that. Almost like she can see right through me. I finishes chewing and took a sip of my ice tea.  
"Santana, talk" Quinn demanded.  
"How long have we been best friends, Q?" I asked her.  
"Uhm, well since first grade" She answered confused.  
"Are you still dating that troll of a boyfriend?"  
"Finn?"  
I nodded.  
"You know I am, Santana. We've been together for 2 years now" She said even more confused.  
"How did you knew that you liked him?"  
Quinn didn't answer me. She looked at me with her brow furrowed and her curious eyes. She tilted her head a little bit and opened her mouth but nothing came out. After a couple of minutes she sat straight in her chair and clasped her hands in front of her.  
"What's your point?" She asked me.  
I lowered my face and started playing with my plate.  
"Santana, are you trying to tell me what I think you're trying to tell me?" Quinn said.  
"I don't know what you're thinking I'm trying to tell you" I mumbled.  
"Well, if it is what I think it is you are trying to tell me, you should know by now that no matter what I'm still going to be your best friend and that I don't mind" Quinn said with a small smile on her face.  
"What if what I'm trying to say it's not what you are thinking it is and when I say it you will find out that you actually care and you don't want to be my friend anymore" I said.  
Quinn let out a sigh.  
"This is ridiculous. Santana, are you gay?"  
I'm pretty sure that if I would've had food or liquids on my mouth I would've choked in that moment.  
"Wha-what?!" I choked out.  
"You are, aren't you?" Quinn asked with a smirk on her face.  
"Q, what the hell?!"  
Quinn started laughing as if I had just told the best joke in the world. After a couple of minutes she calmed down and looked at me.  
"S, please, just tell me. Is that what you wanted to tell me?" Quinn asked.  
I let out a sigh and nodded.  
"Mhmm… that makes sense" Quinn said thoughtfully.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.  
"It's just that, I mean, you never really had a boyfriend. I remember seeing you make out with all those boys but I never really saw you genuinely interested in any of them. And there's also the Cheerios practice…" Quinn got lost in thought while looking at me.  
The way she was watching me made me nervous.  
"Did you ever had a crush on me?" She asked suddenly.  
"What?! Oh my God, Fabray! No! That's like… liking my sister or something. EW!"  
"EW?! Excuse you, Lopez! You would be lucky to get on this" She said while pointing at her body.  
I covered my face and started laughing. Quinn was laughing too.  
"Q, are you really ok with it?" I asked her.  
"Of course I am, San. It doesn't change a thing between us" She said with a smile.

I could feel a HUGE weight getting lift from my shoulders. We both started eating again, and silence fell upon us. Neither of us broke it, Quinn because I'm pretty sure she saw me deep in thought. I broke the silence once I finished eating

"You're the first one to know" I told her quietly.  
"Puck doesn't know?" Quinn asked surprised.  
"Puck doesn't know" I shook my head.  
"Is this why you acted so reckless?"  
I nodded.  
"But, why?" Quinn asked confused.  
"Let's order dessert and I'll tell you everything" I said.

Not long after our brownies with ice cream arrived.

"Remember at the beginning of the year we had auditions for the new Cheerios?" I asked her. Quinn just nodded.  
"And remember that audition we saw that left us with our mouth hanging open?"  
Quinn raised her eyebrows in surprise.  
"Brittany?" She asked me.  
I nodded.  
"Yeah, Brittany" I said and couldn't help but smile. Quinn noticed.  
"Anyway, this is even before her. I have always known that boys aren't exactly my thing. You know I love them and I get along with them very easily but I can't really picture myself with any of them, but the thing is that I have never pictured myself with a girl either. I was really confused, Q. I honestly thought that were was something really wrong with me so I started making out with pretty much all the boys at school. I thought that maybe, if I kept trying, I would found one who would make me feel something. Anything. But it never happened. So I stopped doing that, and I focused on other stuff like Cheerios or homework. I thought maybe I was asexual, you know? Because I would look at girls and thought, "well yeah she is pretty but so what?". It was so frustrating. Remember at that party where we were playing spin the bottle and it landed on another Cheerio? I kissed her. It was the first time I had ever kissed a girl and, Quinn, it felt awful and amazing at the same time. It felt wrong and so right at the same time. That's when I knew that I was gay, but I didn't liked kissing her because for her it was all about getting the boys attention. After that party there was no turning back. I knew it, but there was nothing I could do about it."

Quinn interrupted me.  
"That was in our junior year, right?" She asked me.  
"Yeah… but don't interrupt me, Fabray."  
Quinn whispered sorry and nodded.

"Anyway, you remember how in our junior year I was a freaking nerd. Best grades ever, Coach made me co-captain of the Cheerios, and I was so focused on school and I even joined your Celibacy club and helped my mom and grandma on those church things. I was trying my hardest not to feel that way, Quinn. At the end of each day I would be so exhausted that I wouldn't allow myself time to think about it. But then everything changed. At the beginning of our senior year Coach made you and I co-captains and we held those auditions for the new Cheerios. It went as awful as we thought it would until she came along. I remembered it perfectly, Q. You called her in and this pretty girl came in. She was wearing the school uniform, the black one, with those little shorts and the WMHS t-shirt. She had her hair in a pony tail and a big smile on her face. She looked at you and said her name, and then she looked at me and I noticed those blue eyes and she said something that made us look at each other while thinking, _bitch, please"_ I laughed at the memory. Still one of the best auditions I've seen in my life.

"_My name is Brittany S. Pierce and I'm joining the Cheerios_, remember? I mean, she had so much confidence it was incredible. The music started playing and it was like she had become someone else but not really at the same time. The choreography was flawless, her back flips were perfect, the split at the end was amazing and when she was done she looked at us, smirked, and left. She made it look as if it was the easiest thing on Earth. I couldn't get that girl out of my mind, Q. It was impossible. I left the Celibacy club, I stopped helping my mom and grandma at church, and I went crazy. That's the only way I can put it. I went crazy because she was all I could think about. Yes, I missed classes but I never missed practice. She was flawless on each practice, she was flirty, she always had a smile on her face, and she was so funny and sweet. She was my favorite part of practice, and that's why I never talked to her. Not directly. I would become such a nervous wreck around her. It's ridiculous really.  
But she made it all real, Quinn. She made my feelings real. She reminded me every day that I was different and that people don't really accept that. As if it wasn't enough that I'm latina and people are racist assholes. And my mom, dad, grandma… what would they think of me? But there she was, reminding me every day of my feelings and my issues so I chose to stop feeling. I chose parties and beer and weed. I chose skipping classes to go to Six Flags or have some beers. Until one day, I was walking on the halls while everyone was on class when I heard music and I went to see what was going on. The music was coming from the little dance studio and when I looked inside I was in shock. Brittany was practicing some routine and she was dancing so perfectly. I just stood there, watching her. I was mesmerized, Q. Completely mesmerized cause honestly, she is the prettiest girl I've ever seen. When the music stopped she turned around and saw me standing in the doorway. I didn't knew what to do, so I ran away. Stupid, I know. When I was at the parking lot I noticed the day of the week and the time. It was during our calculus class. I skipped so many classes just so I could watch her dance. She wasn't always at the dance studio, but when she was it was so worth it. This past year I have been so torn about who I am and just, everything. If I wasn't trying to forget my feelings I was watching her and she just makes those feelings bigger and scarier. " I let out a sigh.

Quinn was silent, looking at me. She then shook her head just the slightliest and said,  
"You have it so bad, S. So bad" She had a tiny smirk on her face.  
I rolled my eyes.  
"This is not about how _bad_ I have it, Quinn. Yes, I like her, but what about everything else? I'm scared to tell people because, let's face it, this is Lima, Ohio. People are going to talk about it and look at me differently. What if she finds out and thinks I'm disgusting? What about my parents? Q, I don't know what to do. I'm scared." I was shaking and felt like crying. I couldn't cry here, not right now. So I closed my eyes and tried to swallow the knot on my throat. I felt Quinn's hand on my own and I relaxed a bit. I opened my eyes and Quinn was giving me a smile.  
"It's going to be okay, Santana. Trust in the people that love you, but most importantly, trust in yourself" Quinn told me and gave my hand a small squeeze.

We finished the brownies with the melted ice cream, and for the first time I felt like maybe it wasn't all that bad.


	3. The Lima Beans Café

"If you have any doubts on the recipes, you can check them out in here" The weird boy said to me while showing me a used and full of coffee marks notebook.  
"I think I got it" I told him.  
"Anyway, you're not gonna be making drinks just yet, at least not on the super busy hours. Do you have any questions about the register?" He asked me with a small smile.  
I wanted so much to roll my eyes at him.  
"None"  
"Great, so let's start working" He said with a huge grin on his face and a wink.  
Who does he think he is? Trying to flirt with me, as if.  
From all the other employers I really think he is the worst. His name is Tim, he is _almost 20,_ and a complete loser. I wouldn't necessary say that he is ugly. Truth is, he is quite good looking except for the pimples. He has no game, so every time he _flirts_, if you can even call it that, it just comes out weird. There's this other chick working here too. Her name is Rebecca. She is a really cool girl, she's 21 and has this rock n' roll vibe going on. And then there's Mr. Allen, the manager. I guess he's like 40 years old, single, and he reminds me a lot of Phil from Modern Family. He's always trying to make conversation and asks us about all sort of things. He's okay, I guess, mostly a dork which is weird 'cause he's an adult. Anyway, in terms of the first day, things were going pretty good. No mistakes so far, and Tim has kept to himself mostly, so that's good.

Around midday things started to get a little hectic. The line was getting bigger and I needed to work as fast as possible. I had just finished delivering their change to a couple when I heard a happy squeal. There on the line in front of me were Puck and Quinn. They waved their hello and I just rolled my eyes at them, but I smiled anyway.

"Look at you in that apron, Lopez" Puck said with a smirk on his face.  
"Shut it, Puckerman" I said laughing.  
"I think you look cute, S" Quinn said giggling.  
"You guys! I'm working!" I whined, "You need to order something or get the hell out of my face"  
"Moody Santana today" said Puck, "I like it"  
"Oh, let her be, Puck" Quinn told him while slapping his arm.  
They both ordered and went to a nearby table to wait for their drinks. I kept writing down orders and charging for another 30 minutes straight, until everything kind of died down. I was about to go to the other side of the bar when I heard the door bell ring, indicating another customer. I groaned and got behind the register. It was her. Brittany had just entered the café. She was wearing some shorts with a baby blue t-shirt that seemed to have a duck in it. White converse on her feet and a camera hanging from her neck. It was a nice one, I could tell. She also had a back pack with her and her never faltering big smile on her face. I wanted to hide or run away but it too late. She was standing in front of me looking at the menu her eyes scanning all the possibilities, deep in thought. I chanced a glance at Quinn, she was looking at me with her eyebrows practically disappearing in her hair line. She seemed amused watching me, so I cursed under my breath.

When I looked back at Brittany she was giving me a curious look. I tried to smile back but I'm not sure if it came out the way I wanted.  
"I know you" she said.  
I felt my eyes pop out of my face. Oh God, she recognizes me as the creep who watched her dance. What if she saw me seeing her. What if she knows that I have feelings for her?  
"How's it going, captain?" She asked me with a big smile.  
Captain? Oh right! The Cheerios!  
"You know, I'm not your Captain anymore" I told her, "plus, I was co-captain anyway" I said with a shrug.  
"Oh, but Coach told us that next year you were going to be the Captain of the team. I remember 'cause a lot of the girls got really mad about that, but I thought you were a senior?" She tilted her head a little and she looked so damn cute doing it. How can she be so adorable?! And those eyes, dear Lord, I swear they can cure anything, even me.  
"Really? Coach said that?" I asked her, trying to keep my cool.  
She just nodded.  
"Oh well, I guess I'll be then" I told her with a smile, "Do you know what your order will be?" I asked.  
"Right! Uhm, I'll have a hot chocolate" Brittany said while handing me the money. I gave her the change and wrote down the order. Tim went right at it. Brittany didn't seemed to move from her spot. There wasn't anyone behind her or anything, but people usually go to the end of the bar to get their drinks. She was staring at me, and I started to feel a little too much self-conscious.  
"So, you weren't a senior?" She asked me.  
"Oh no, I was, I was" My answer seemed to confuse her more.  
"Then how come you'll be the Captain for next year?"  
I looked down at my feet and started playing with my hands a bit. When I looked up again, her eyes were soft and she gave me a small smile  
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" she said quietly. I shook my head.  
"It's okay, everyone will know eventually. I didn't got enough credits to graduate so I'll be taking some classes again this year. I'll be graduating with you actually"  
Her eyes went wide with surprise.  
"Really?" She asked in disbelief.  
I nodded.  
"Can I ask which classes you're gonna be taking?"  
"French, calculus, and history" I said somewhat bitterly.  
"I take French too" she said with a smile, "and the other two as well"  
"Cool, now I know someone on those classes"  
"Yeah, you do"  
We were smiling at each other when I heard Tim call out her name.  
"Nice seeing you, Captain" She said with a wink.  
I couldn't even answer. I saw her took her hot chocolate and walk out through the door. On her way out she passed next to Quinn's and Puck's table, and I saw Quinn waved at her, she returned the wave and then she was gone.

Quinn and Puck were soon reclining on the bar.  
"Who was that?" Puck asked curiously.  
"Don't even think about it, Puckerman" Quinn warned him.  
He raised his hands in defense, "Woah, I haven't said anything yet!"  
Quinn glared at him at he just mumbled something.  
"Some chick from the squad" I said as nonchalantly as possible. Quinn raised an eyebrow.  
"Q, Coach is making me captain of the squad" I said as a way to change the subject.  
"What?!"  
"Yeah, that's what Brittany was telling me" I started to explain until Puck interrupted me.  
"So her name is Brittany…" He said.  
Quinn punched him on the arm, "I said, don't even think about it, Puckerman"

"Anyway, I'm gonna be Captain of the Cheerios this year" I told them.  
"Well, at least you have that, S" Puck said.  
"What you mean?" Quinn asked him.  
"Everyone knows that the Captain of the Cheerios is untouchable at school. Even though we'll be the losers who couldn't graduate, you will also be _the Captain_ of the Cheerios. I don't think I have my spot on the football team anymore" He said sadly.  
Quinn and I looked at each other.  
"You don't know that" I told him, "And even if that was true, I'm sure you can show up at practice and Coach Beiste will be read y to give you your spot back"  
"Yeah, you are an amazing player, Noah. Coach Beiste will want you on the team" Quinn told him.  
He looked at both of us and let out a sigh, "I hope you are right"

After that, they both left the café. My shift ended a few hours later. My first day had been quite an adventure, and on my way home all I could think about was Brittany, and those eyes of her. I wondered why she had a camera, and if she liked taking pictures. But more than anything, I couldn't stop thinking about that wink. Next year I was going to be seeing her a lot. With all the classes in common and practice and even though I couldn't wait for it, I also wasn't ready.

* * *

"Honey, is that you?" My mom asked as soon as I opened the front door.  
"Do you mean me or my dad?" I asked laughing.  
"Of course you, Santana! I know your dad won't be home for another two hours or so" My mom said matter-of-factly.  
I sat down at the kitchen table; my mom gave me a glass of water. I smiled in thanks.  
"How was your first day?" She asked me and sat down in front of me.  
"It was okay. Puck and Quinn visited me and the guys I work with are not that bad" I said with a shrug.  
My mom grabbed my hand, "I'm so proud of you, Santana" she told me with a smile.  
I started laughing, "Proud, mom? Really? I thought all of your hard work had gone to waste"  
"You know that's not true, hija. Your dad was really upset when he said those things, but we are proud of you. You recognize your errors and you're trying to make them right. That counts for something, you should know that" My mom said while giving my hand a squeeze.  
I took a sip of my water and gave her a tiny smile.  
My mom patted my hand and told me, "Remember, therapy in two days at 5 pm"  
Then she stood up and left the kitchen.

God dammit! I had forgotten all about that. I groaned and laid my head on the table. I still don't understand why I have to go to that stupid therapy thing.  
I drank my water, left the glass on the sink, and ran upstairs. After a long, hot shower I climbed in bed and grabbed my laptop. I opened facebook and saw some of the notifications. All stupid collages from my friends and saying their goodbyes to high school. I wanted nothing more than to throw away my computer until a got a friend request. I opened the notification and saw that Brittany S. Pierce was asking me to be her friend. I almost had a meltdown. Oh God, Brittany wanted us to be facebook friends. This was the .EVER!  
I need to keep it cool though… How long do I have to wait to accept? I mean, if I accept right away it would seem as if I had nothing better to do than to be on facebook all day, right? Ok, I will wait a couple of hours, maybe even accept until tomorrow. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.  
I groaned. I'm so lame.

* * *

"Good morning, beautiful" Tim said to me as I walked through the doors.  
I rolled my eyes and ignored him.  
"Not a morning person, I see" He said.  
I went to my locker and grabbed my apron while leaving my bag in there.  
"Hey, Reb! How's it going?" Tim asked Rebecca, who had just entered the room.  
"Don't call me that" Rebecca told him in a serious tone.  
I tried not to laugh at that. Rebecca and I left the employees room and went behind the counter to start getting everything ready. Ten minutes later Mr. Allen arrived. As usual he was in a great mood.  
At 7:30 am the Lima Beans Café opened his doors. Not so long, the usual line of customers started to arrive. Even though it was summer, all the adults seemed to keep on working, which sucks big time. They would arrive, get their order, and then go straight to work. Pretty much all of them looked like zombies, and then at 9 am would enter the parents with kids on summer programs. Moms and dads entering the café with a couple of kids on their hands while ordering some very much needed caffeine while the kids would yell what they wanted and then start running around with the other kids. That was the worse. Then, it was really quiet until midday where things would get hectic and the line seemed to never end. But there was something about it that I found I really liked. Between 12:30 and 1:00 pm Brittany would enter and order something. She always had that camera around her neck and that sweet smile of hers would never leave her face. It's been two days since she send me that friend request on facebook and I haven't accepted it yet. I wanna seem like a cool person, or something like that.

I got distracted by the sound of the doorbell. Right on cue Brittany entered. Once again her camera around her neck, some dark skin tight jeans, boots, and a long sleeve loose white sweater. Her hair was down and she looked absolutely gorgeous. It was as if a ray of sunshine had just entered the café. She stole all the light from the place, and when our eyes met she smiled at me.

"Hey there, Captain" She greeted me.  
"Good morning, Brittany" I said laughing.  
"How's it going?" She asked me while leaning a little on the bar.  
"The usual" I said with a shrug, "What about you?"  
"Same here" She said with a smile.  
"Know what your order is going to be?"  
She tapped her finger to her chin as in deep thought while scanning the menu. God, she's adorable.  
"I feel like having a green tea frapuchino" She said.  
"Comin' right at ya" I said while a wrote down her order. She gave me the money and I have her her change.  
"So, do you ever check your social media or what?" She asked me.  
"What?" I said confused.  
Brittany giggled. My heart melted.  
"Do you ever log into your facebook account?"  
"Not that much really" I tried to say it with as much confidence as possible.  
Brittany just looked at me, as if trying to decipher me.  
"I sent you a friend request the other day"  
"Oh, really?"  
She just nodded.  
"I'll get right to it then" I said with a smile. I grabbed my phone from one of the pockest from my apron and clicked on my facebook app. A minute later I had accepted Brittany's friend request. It felt awesome.  
"There it is, now we are facebook friends" I told her with a big smile.  
"Awesome. Now I can talk to you whenever" She said with a wink.

_GREEN TEA FRAPUCHINO FOR BRITTANY!_

"That's my cue. See ya later, Captain" Brittany told me with a small smirk on her face.  
"Santana!" I said dumbly.  
She turned around to see me and gave me a curious look.  
"Call me, Santana, not Captain" I said laughing.  
She laughed too and came closer to the register.  
"It was really starting to grow on me the Captain nickname" She said.  
"Well, sorry not sorry, it sounds weird" I said while making a face.  
Brittany found it funny and giggled. My heart fluttered with the sound.  
"What about Cappy?" She asked.  
"No way!" I said laughing.  
"Ok ok, then what about San?" She asked with a small smile. There was something in the way she was looking at me while she asked that… And I thought I saw her blush a little…  
"San? Only if I can call you Britt" I said.  
"I believe we have a deal, _San"_ She told me and extended her hand.  
I shook it and gave her my best smile. I gotta say, touching her hand felt like a rush of pure adrenaline. I imagined how it would feel if I tangled my hand in hers, and if she likes that.  
_Britt_ was shaking her head a little and had the biggest grin on her face. Her eyes looked so happy that they twinkled.  
"I really gotta get going" She told me.  
I just nodded.  
"Talk to ya later, San" She said and waved me goodbye on her way to the door with her tea on her other hand.  
"See ya later, Britt" I whispered.

This was by far the best day at my job so far. We are on a nickname basis already, AND facebook friends. By far the best day ever.

Just as my shift was about to end, I got a text from Quinn.

**Dinner tonight? You can bring Puck.**

That sounded amazing but I remembered that I had my first therapy session today. Fucking hell.

**Can't. Therapy at 5 :c**

I sounded like such a psycho typing that.

**What about after therapy we hang out?**

That sounded reasonable. Hope my parents didn't had a problem with that.

**I'll text you when I'm done (:**

When my shift ended I ran back home.

* * *

**A/U: **Reviews are always welcomed :D


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